Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I'm doing homework, all peaceful-like, here at Miller's house. Then, low and behold, Courtney comes home and mentions that the neighbors were flying kites...so...

So there we go. It was BEAUTIFUL!

Tired, Broken, and Falling (into His arms)

I really do feel rather tired and broken, which I know is the best place for me to be in (especially when I practice wisdom and fall into His arms). But it's so hard to be in this spot during it, and remembering that the growth the Lord brings through leaning on Him during the rough times is worth it.

My brokenness isn't even about my life (except for how tired I am). So many of my friends are hurting, and I'm lost as to how to help them. Then there are those who I don't know, at least not personally, but I hear about what they are going through, and it's all a sign of the fallen state of the world. I don't know how to reach, teach, love, heal them and me. And that breaks my heart.

I guess that was somewhat of a lie, my life is breaking me too; one of my good friends challenged me with her life and a conversation that we had in the car. How do you forgive without resolution? I get and love the whole forgive and resolve, where we both cry, laugh, hug, and get on with our lives and friendships, but I struggle forgiving and being forgiven knowing that they don't necessarily want resolution where we heal our relationship. Lord, how do I do this?

Life, it tires me out. I just want to cry a lot, like more than most people.

I need to go to bed...more tomorrow...

Sunday, March 28, 2010

In IN!!

I'm in IN with the boy right now, we had a wedding to attend. Staying with his aunts for the night before we high-tail it home tomorrow morning. It's odd, seeing this "life-style" when I spend time with his family. They are so laid back and not busy compared next to mine. But I never would notice that we are so odd until I spend as much time around Chad's family as I did during Christmas time. Still deciding what that means. So here we are!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Creativity is one of those things, those passing cravings for me...
  • I love the result of being creative
  • I get the craving at the most random times (like 3 in the morning)
  • I love looking at beautiful online shops and blogs that are all about creativeness
  • But I can't seem to contain this creative love of mine to be very productive, or to even update a blog consistently
So there is my sob story for the night...

On to finishing my Government homework

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Shhhhhh don't tell...

Sneak peek here...come see HONK!!!

I've been spending much time with wonderful Jr. High and Sr. High students helping my dad and team of directors put together this delightful production of Honk Jr. at the Fairview High School. The performance days are Thursday (tomorrow), Friday, and Saturday. Get your tickets NOW or forever hold your peace. But really I've thoroughly enjoyed my role in this musical. I've described my job as an Assistant Director in training. I've been able to interject my suggestions without being tied to HAVING to be there as a life or death situation (which is good with my school schedule). These last 3 practices though, I have switched to the role of photographer. And here is where we find ourselves.

In other news, I'm done dissecting for the year...THANK YOU LORD!!! I tried to be as excited as I could be about it and to make it the happiest experience that it could be. But alas this was as good as it got...
In the bag is a sheep's heart and kidney (the kidney was the worst) among the rest of the gunk that had to be used to dissect and everything. So glad it's over. I will be very glad when this dreaded science class is over.

So there you have it, I need to write my report and take the next A&P quiz, so I shall be off now.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gold Peak Tea - Lemon Style

 So I have yet to introduce you to my new baby...well foster child really. I have in my hands an Olympus E-510 and she is VERY dear to me!! I'm learning how to use her and I'm trying to learn fast so that I can really take some nice ones before I must give her back to the school at the end of the class.

And this baby
is my companion today! I also love her dearly. Someday I hope to really be able to do something worth blogging about, but for now, I've updated my profile and I've shared my lovers of the day with you...

Oh, and one more. My dear ex boss (just from my summer job) on my birthday last year gave me this really sweet bracelet. It has John 6:35 written on it and I love it...I'm rockin the fashion today (in my dreams...).


Monday, March 22, 2010

The Political Climate

I anticipate this post being a short one. With that being said, let's continue...

I never become greatly vocal on political matters because I find that as soon as I do I wish I had kept my mouth shut. But this is one where I simply cannot shut my trap anymore.


Abortion is wrong people! And I do NOT support it! Do you know what is a part of this health care you just wanted?

Capital Punishment is a funny thing, but using the "right to life" argument doesn't work. In Genesis when discussing the punishment for a man taking another man's life, GOD the FATHER says that because man is made in HIS image (aka because of the sanctity of life) if one man takes another man's life the first man must also be killed. Now I can't say when capital punishment should be used, and I know that most of the problems with capital punishment is actually problems with our court systems. I just would like to point out there that there is a time and place for the death penalty. Just don't ask me how and when we know that it is the right time.


So, we just gave away our right with health care with overwhelming responses being positive. How many more freedoms will we give away before we are no longer FREE. When will we not be able to voice our opinions, worship how and where and when we want, etc. We are headed that way, we really are. The worst part is that we are doing it willingly. The answer is NOT big government, I'm sorry to step on your toes.

I'm not meaning to upset anyone, but I do keep my mouth shut most of the time. But this time I simply cannot. I have to voice these, and now I have.

DISCLAIMER: the "people" "you" and "our" words are generic for the American public, not pointed at anyone.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I pulled up to the Troyer's house for the second time today at 7:52pm, just in time to get seated and situated before Chuck began. As i gingerly stepped out of my truck carefully avoiding the puddles in their driveway (or rather, in the case of their driveway it's more of a desperately trying to find ANY dry islands) I was hit with it. It was there and I was suddenly taken back in time. I breathed deeply sinking into the memories that it brought. The smell of damp, night air filled my lungs. This was the smell that I missed when I was living in Jackson, the one thing I'm not sure I could be content without living with. The trees exude their mossy, frosty odor as the warm air is pulling the frost out of them and the rain water is slowly seeping into their firm, woody trunks. The ground gets that musty not-your-grandmother's-basement type smell that reminds you that something is now over and we are going headlong towards the rebirth portion of our seasons. By the time I had hopped from my truck to their basement door I had relived close to 14 memories, had the sensation of spring fully and completely, and that was all with just one long, deep, fulfilling breath. It's totally the little things for me!

Just thought I'd share with you my overstated love for this time of year!

Cookie in the Sun

So I'm at my boyfriend's house with only the dog for my company. Chad is at college, his siblings at school and his parents at work. So here I sit watching their adorable multi-poo dog sit in the sun coming through the window. The whole reason that I am here is to my government homework (meaning using their fast internet since I only have dial-up at home), but I find that I am COMPLETELY unable to concentrate. I don't want to learn about government, I want to explore pictures, art, music, stories, singing, crafts, interior decorating, etc. The list could go on and on with what I want to do instead of what it is that I'm "trying" to do.

Really though this is just one more thing that shows what point I'm at in life. I'm not far enough along in my studies to be doing only stuff that has to do with my major, so I'm trying desperately to finish my basics. I'm seemingly unable to do anything but waitress right now, not a very promising career, I can't wait to move on (more on waitressing later). Trying to make plans for this summer and beyond and there are just too many variables that I can't even do that. It's like my life is on hold; I'm stuck doing things that while here I can't see the reason for while I just look forward to what I hope is coming.

Waitressing, I did say I would talk about it. I have a job at this adorable little restaurant in our tiny little town. Rails End is the name, hometown cooking is the game. I usually have the night shift (which is more than okay with me) which means that I work from 2pm - 8pm. The cook and I have the run of the little diner from 2 on. Some nights I can do fairly well with tips, other nights for my 6 hours I have only 3 tables. I really don't mind it all too much since I don't mind talking to people. But sometimes I just get really bored of it and tired of going and doing without really showing too much for it. I know there are so many other jobs out there that would pay so much better that I COULD do ability-wise. But there are a couple reasons I won't give up my job. The likelihood that those "other" jobs are in our area are slim to none. I get to walk to work. I love my boss (she goes to our church). Finally, it's proving to be the perfect mission field. I've grown to love my cook and the other waitresses so much, but they are mostly so lost. Some are lost but ignorant to it, thinking that they have the truth, others are lost and looking but don't know how to completely give themselves over to it. Oh my heart aches for them. It's a big reason for prayer as I'm the youngster and have no clue how to get through to them. So there you have it, I'll be a waitress for a while and that's why.

That's about it for now, I really need to do this government. Perhaps I'll be able to now, and stop thinking about where I'd like to be in life, but I'm not. In other news I love my hair today!


Thursday, March 4, 2010

Arms Out Wide

I'm pretty sure that this will come out a bit jumbled, but it's time.

I can honestly be true in saying that I haven't written mostly because of time and because of dial-up, but that's not all. What I have to say in my life seems pretty routine, or at least it had. I'm not sure I can really say that it still is worth anything, but it seems to be a bit more structured in my mind. Now that I have a really poorly written boring explanation as to why I haven't written, on to the post.

One of the main reasons why writing to me here seems so important right now is the big part blogs play in my life. They really do help carry me through. Whether it's amazing people like Cara who are constantly encouraging my faith through her own walk. Or people like the Kampers who I read to learn how to better pray for them. Or just something fun and adorable like Naomi's rockstar diaries. 

So I have found a rather engulfing obsession, it's called Generation T and it's all about taking t-shirts and doing AWESOME things with them. 

So yeah...they rock my world...

That's all for this night...