Putting Life Back Together

When we got pregnant with Alexi we knew we were going to have a life change, and we also knew there was no way to know what that change would look like. The knowledge that we couldn't know made the months leading up to her birth stressful and a bit scary. I can say now that there is a big change, but there really isn't a good way to describe what it is. It's like life is a puzzle and we just barely had it sorted when the piece all fell on the floor. Then, come to find out, we didn't have all of the pieces. Life was good before her, and we had a pretty good handle on life. We just didn't know how much we were missing without her.

Some of the highlights of my days lately have shown me just how this simple little one has found her way in my heart.

• The prewake-up stretches she gives that warns me she'll want me soon.
• Her scrunched face as she has a little whimper in her sleep
• The satisfied smile after a fart
• Her very complete, back arching stretch when I first pick her up after waking up
• Her cheeks that are becoming more chubby every day
• Her body relaxing as she gives into sleep while lying on me
• Watching her nap while I enjoy a cup of coffee or tea (read caffeine)
• How in love Chad's and my parents are with our little girl

Now that we have all of the puzzle pieces we are back to sorting, even resorting the parts of life that we thought we had figured out before. It's a learning process, but it's something we are facing head on. Our house is a disaster, has been for months. Each day I tackle something little on top of keeping up in the kitchen and making myself presentable. Makes for slow going, but each step brings one more thread of sanity back into our life, one more puzzle piece in the right pile.

I'm excited to see these changes, and my prayer is that Christ's strength will rise up in me to make me into the wife and mother He's prepared me to be.