I waited for this day and thought maybe it wouldn't happen. Alas, it's here. I am nervous. And not just about birth. In fact, I believe something altogether different brought on the nerves.
A couple nights ago I was struggling to sleep. I ended up doing dishes until my feet became more swollen than I liked. The fix for the swollen feet is to be in a position where they are above my heart. The easiest position is therefore on one's back with feet propped up, not an easy or comfortable position at 9 months pregnant. In attempts to have them propped longer I swiveled onto my side. (So, think laying on the couch on your side feet both propped up on the arm of the couch.) I ended up dozing like that for about an hour. What I've discovered since then is that I have injured one of my knees. It seems to me that in aforementioned spot on the couch I put a nasty stress on my left knee bending it outward with sleeping weight leg on it. What injury that causes exactly I don't know, but I do know that whenever I try to kneel or be on my hands and knees I have a sharp pain on the left side of my left knee.
This causes me concern and anxiety. I hate injuries; I hate going to the doctors; I hate not knowing what's wrong.
While trying to fall asleep after thinking about that, I started thinking about childbirth, and that I want to try to go drug free. I remembered how NOT flexible I am, how out of shape I am, and now with a hurt knee how one of the most comfortable labor positions (hands and knees) will be painful. All of that thinking lead to awful nervousness.
Chad was falling asleep through these thoughts, but before he was gone, I said something out loud about my nerves. He asked what he could do for me, and I asked him to pray.
The Lord is good! The peace that comes when the man you love prays for peace for you from the God who is blessing your marriage is incredible. I'm still somewhat nervous, but I have promises from my God and support from my husband, so I know I will be alright!
BT
Sunday, April 15, 2012
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2 comments:
Oh girl! That's no good! But it will be fine...God will see you through it all! And something my doc told me before I had Forrest, keep an open mind about the whole birth process...a lot can happen and change, things can go just as planned or not at all as planned (Elliot would be a good example of that!!) You may get 20 hours into an induced labor and deciede that you need help, and that's fine!! (It happend to me both times, and the epidural really did help!) you may be able to go through the whole things without any help and that's wonderful too! Just don't box yourself in...and the nurses at Alpena are GREAT at helping you do what you can naturally!! Loved that place (I was there six days from start to finish!) Anyway, take a deep breath, have Chad pray a lot! And you'll come through with flying colors!
Thanks for the encouragement, Liz! The way I had said it to the lady during our POP appointment is that I'd like to try it without drugs, but that we'd see how things go. Chad is going to be my voice of "please don't ask us, we'll as you" to anyone who might suggest them, but I'm sure there is a spot where my resolve isn't worth it. The prayer is that we don't have to get there.
Chad and I are praying, and God has given me a peace back! :)
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