Friday, April 10, 2009

Blessed...

So last night Brandon and I were talking about life. Currently I have a friend who just got engaged and that sparked a conversation about marriage. Here was my take on the matter...
"it's my goal...if you want my worldly goals....that's it...i want to be married...but i'm trying to not let that desire cloud my view of how the Lord wants to use me while i'm still single"
Shortly after that, Brandon and I seemed to open up to each other, at least more than we ever had before. I just stopped and looked back at the conversation we were having and saw just how blessed I was to have a brother like Brandon (even if i was talking to him when i should have been doing my homework). Moments of laughter in our serious discussion were as such...
"my future wife will be exactly what I need...so she is amazing...because...exactly what I need...is going to be a prettty bizzare mixture"
"sure there are stranger people...but they are ALWAYS strange"
then i got all serious again
"and that brings out the part of me that is (forgive me) half way happy that you are single...so i have my brother with no plus "so-and-so"...thanksgiving was hard for me...and so was new years...not that i felt left out...cuz it wasn't that...it was that you weren't MY brothers you wereTHEIR someone special...."
And finally, the part that this post is dedicated to...
Brandon Boy: which is one thing I absolutely loved...our family is so blessed
Brandon Boy: and I realize that more and more every year
Bridge: (amen)
Brandon Boy: even the good kids, that grew up in Christian homes...most have nothing on our family
Bridge: i think of my bff here...who sees nothing good in marriage and can't even be happy for people getting married
Bridge: i stayed at her house...growing up there i would never wanna be married either
Brandon Boy: yeah
Brandon Boy: I have friends
Brandon Boy: hurts my heart
Brandon Boy: a lot
Brandon Boy: I like being home (not much to do there...but it is still home)
Brandon Boy: because my family is there
Brandon Boy: not because of friends
Brandon Boy: and when I am home, I know my parents love me
Brandon Boy: and woudn't do anything purposefully to hurt me...
Bridge: i expirienced that for the first time...the wanting to be home for that reason...and longing to go back now...just these past 4 days
Bridge: having Lisa there
Bridge: that was something for me
Bridge: to even see what her kids were growing up seeing
Bridge: wishing they could grow up as i did
Bridge: knowing how blessed that is
Bridge: but mostly...i loved Saturday
Bridge: mom, dad and i went to alpena in the afternoon and evening
Bridge: we shopped...not even together...(i didn't buy anything)
Bridge: then went out to eat
Bridge: and stopped to get coffee
Bridge: and drove home all in three in the front seat
Bridge: talking about college
Bridge: and camp
Bridge: and life
Bridge: and it hit me
Bridge: and from that moment in the car
Bridge: no matter what little differences i have with mom and dad
Bridge: no matter if i know i need to get away for a time
Bridge: there has been and will be a piece of me that wants to stay there forever
Bridge: cuz like you said
Bridge: i'm safe there
Bridge: i'm loved there
Bridge: that's a feeling you can't duplicate
Bridge: you can't find by looking
Bridge: it's something that is a gift from God
Bridge: only a parents love
Bridge: a love i wanna show my children
Bridge: another thing is i've seen how much mom and i are alike
Bridge: in how we react and act towards kids
Bridge: but dad and i in how we plan things
Brandon Boy: yeah
Brandon Boy: you hit the nail on the head
Brandon Boy: as much as I know I could probably find a girl
Brandon Boy: with whom life would be easy
Bridge: but that's not what you are looking for....
Bridge: you don't want life to be easy
Bridge: you want it to be full...fulfilled
Bridge: the best God has for you both
Brandon Boy: well
Brandon Boy: see the deal is
Brandon Boy: that my family has love to share
Bridge: yeah
Bridge: ?
Brandon Boy: so why should I just take the easy road?
Brandon Boy: my heart wants to love
Brandon Boy: I don't know
Bridge: ding ding ding ... sounds like the right reasoning to me
Brandon Boy: I am not going to just pursue a girl because she is hurting (or because she is NOT hurting
Brandon Boy: but
Brandon Boy: there is no reason to just always try to make life as easy as possible
Bridge: brandon boy...we have to be two of the most complicated people on this planet...the way our minds work...but you have me beat more than i knew"

AAAHHHHHHH!!! LORD You have blessed FAR beyond what I could EVER deserve!!!

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