Day 7 - Weekend Accomplished

Weekends are my cleaning downfall.
I never want to clean on the weekend.

So the kitchen gets used and not clean.
The kids play outside and get dirty, but no laundry is done.
We eat 6 meals and who knows how many snacks and nothing gets vacuumed.
I'm not cleaning so why would I enforce cleaning on my kids.

Now you see why I need help...this happening every weekend makes the week days feel terrible.

This weekend was an uncommon one, we actually had plans!
Chad and I had a night away (Friday) because he bought us tickets to see John Crist on his Human Being tour. Which meant that Friday morning I was trying to accomplish normal morning stuff, plus packing up our kids for their night at their grandparents'. And, SUCCESS!

Saturday, we returned by lunch, meaning I had unpacking (a task would normally would consume my whole next week, despite the fact that it was just one night away) and the normal day stuff. I also needed to prepare a salad for the next day for church potluck. I was exhausted and slightly grumpy by the end, but still relieved to see a shiny sink at the end of it.

Sunday (today) was a normal busy day at church, potluck after church, then supper at Chad's parents. All this means the kitchen pretty much had the day off (minus a few odds and ends I did as a side project this afternoon and evening). All in all, I still checked all the boxes on my checklist, including setting my timer and doing a 5 minute pick up and 2 minute hotspot this evening.

Huge sigh of relief, one weekend down and didn't fall off the wagon!
Wish me luck on the week!

Mrs. Troyer

No Burnout Allowed Here

One of the things I most appreciate about FlyLady is how the system avoids burnout. The idea that your mess didn't get there in a day so it will take more than a day to handle it is one I wish I had learned earlier in life.

3 days.

My kitchen has been a disaster again (a reoccurring pattern) for close to 2 weeks.
3 days of simply forcing myself to spend a little bit of time in there every morning and evening intentionally has led to a clean kitchen once again.
It didn't take 6 hours one day. (I've done that before, then refused to step into my kitchen for 3 days.)
Because this doesn't happen often, I had to take a pic.
I decided I'm going to continue to take a pic of my sink every night until it seems ridiculous because my sink is clean more than it is dirty.

On another note
JOHN CRIST SHOW this WEEKEND!!!!

Mrs. Troyer

Starting It Over Again

This isn't the 1st, not the 2nd, not the 3rd, not even the 4th time I've started with the baby-steps of FlyLady to try to gain control of my house. Each time has a different level of success, but never once have I finished the 31 days. But each time, something new has stuck with me. Making my bed daily. Getting out of sweatpants daily (even if I'm not going anywhere). The power of 2 minutes, 5 minutes, and 15 minutes. Etc.

So it's worth trying again. 

I have a specific goal this time. A motivation if you will (beyond the obvious of I'd like to live in a clean, decluttered home that doesn't make me lose my mind).

I have hopes, dreams and plans for this upcoming year--my last year before I turn 30. I'm working on some specific goals I'd like to accomplish between my 29th and 30th birthdays. But I know, I won't have the energy, the mental space, or the sanity to complete even half of them with my home in its current state.

So I'm here again.

My laundry isn't completed, my floor needs vacuumed, not all of my dishes are done (though a huge dent was made in that today). But my sink is shined.

For the next 31 days I have a checklist. I've done planners in the past, I've done checklists all over the place, I've done bullet journaling. I just need a place to keep in straight. So I spent a little less than an hour last week creating this checklist system. When something is added to the things that I already have as habits I added it to my daily checklist. (in the FlyLady world, this would be a version of the control journal)

Wish me luck.

Mrs. Troyer

Little Thoughts... 03-18-2019

Doing drywall is nothing like I expected. I never expected that it would be a such a nit-pick, small detail project. The perfectionism that Chad and I both tend to has driven me nuts.

2 days until spring!!

I'm thankful Chad's job is not primarily a night shift job.

Homeschooling is this weird mix of confidence and anxiety. It's so easy to get caught up in the "are we at the same level as the kids' peers?" and "does this curriculum actually teach all of it?"

Any day now I will have a new niece or nephew!! I love everything about new babies!!

Singing gives me equal amounts of joy and anxiety. I love to sing and I love to perform, but as is normal in the human experience I'm scared to death of what other people think (especially knowing what I think of hearing myself after the fact). Will I ever grow out of that?

I'm ready to send the kids outside daily without coats and everything.

Podcasts are getting another chance in my life. Currently listening to The World and Everything In It and the Trim Healthy Mama Poddy

That's all for now.

Mrs. Troyer

The Promise of Spring

It's March.
It goes on forever.
We still have a ton of snow.

This winter has been the best I've had in quite a few years, on the emotional front. It gives me hope that as we are transitioning our family from the little years to the early elementary years my emotional well-being will swing to the positive with it.

But let me say again...it's March.
We still have a ton of snow.

The winter has finally caught up with me and I have all of the mood swings, lack of concentration, scattered and foggy brain to go with the depressed lack of activity and sun I've gotten.

How did you hold up?
Just checking in.
I have some fun things coming up; you should hear from me soon.

Mrs. Troyer

From My FB Page

The best encouragement you can give to a mom when you walk into her chaos:
Smile
Don't looked shocked and horrified at the mess, or the naked children.
Don't judge her attempting to finally get into the shower at 11 AM.
Encourage her with the words "You're doing great!"

Had a world class motherhood encourager enter my home today. She smiled and laughed with me as my half-naked children ran around "obeying" my command to get dressed. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me I was doing great...even as she could hear the shower running and I desperately should have taken a shower first thing this morning. I handed her the music she was picking up and she left, but the joy and encouragement has lasted.

Please hear me! It doesn't take long to pour into the lives of mothers. You don't need to invest hours into long visits, make 5-star meals for them, or do the piles of laundry they have. Pop your head in to say hi. Share a truth with them in a facebook message that the Lord has shown you. Recognize how good it is to see them out and about if by some miracle she is out of the house with her kids.

It can bring a lingering smile to her face the rest of her day.

Mrs. Troyer

Regurgitated Sentiments

I don't hate small talk. One of my favorite parts of making small conversations in the grocery store, parking lot, or post office is making people smile.

Because I usually have my kiddos with me, many times the conversation is geared around them. Because my husband and I grew up in this small town, many of the people aren't strangers, but aren't friends, they are more like familiar acquaintances.

This can lead to questions that mere strangers might not ask. Like "So, did you and Chad decide to stop with 3?" I was talking with an old coworker of Chad's in the hardware store parking lot. It was cold, it was windy, I was trying to wrangle all 3 kids into the store. My mouth went into automatic mode and replied "Oh yeah, we hit 3 and decided we were tired enough." We both chuckled and parted ways, he to his truck and us to buy our tarp for leaves.

I know I've read that and heard that sentiment multiple times, so my mouth took over while my brain was busy and spoke without thinking.

And I regret it.

Not because of the coworker, that doesn't matter. But because of my kids..."we were tired enough"...ugh

There is no denying we are tired, like 99.87% of the adult population. But I just equated the worth of another child to the importance of me feeling well rested. And I don't like that. Especially I don't like that I said that in front of my kids.

I'm not afraid to talk about why we are done having kids, but my mouth doesn't always let my brain remind it of that, it just wants to continue the conversations and make the other person smile.

I'm therefore going to take this moment to set the record straight, and maybe next time I get asked this question my mouth will refrain from regurgitating sentiments other people have said. (And note, this will be my reasoning, as I can't speak for Chad, but know that we are in complete agreement on this subject)

We have 3 amazing, energetic, bright kids.
The youngest 2 are one year apart in age.
From the time I got pregnant with my 2nd until 2 years after my 3rd was born (3 years 9 months) I had emotional hardship. I was never diagnosed with depression, because I never went to the doctor about it. But the woman and mother I was for those years, I don't recognize. I have never been in a place so scary, dark, and hopeless feeling.
During those years, I experienced panic attacks for the first time.
I had intense episodes with anxiety like I had never had before.
My social anxiety skyrocketed to a point where I thought I had lost my ability to be an extrovert.

I am terrified of ever going through that again.

It was a no-brainer for Chad and me, I never wanted to be pregnant again. So we decided to be done having kids.

My youngest is now 3 1/2 and I have had moments of questioning our decision. Brief seconds of, "I love babies so much and I wonder what we could have had next". But like those unwanted bad dreams you can't forget no matter how hard you try, I remember losing myself to the hormones and how I can't do that to myself or my family ever again. I have 3 little ones depending on me, it's not okay to tell them "I just can't get off the couch today, just leave me to cry. I know we have no clean clothes, I know we have no clean dishes, no I don't have anything in the house to eat." No. That would be irresponsible of me.

So instead, I'll love on my 3 precious gifts from God and remind myself...
I'm not too tired to have more kids, these 3 kids deserve the best me I can give them.

Mrs. Troyer