Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Soundtrack to My Life!

So, I want to go to Goodwill and just start buying all of the cds. It's very rare for me to not find at least ONE song and any cd I listen to that I don't like. Just imagine me large variety then. Oh my soul aches for music!

I'm bored today, so it's picture time!!

I love my Katie!!!

ps...i'm secretly in love with Good Housekeeping

Monday, September 21, 2009

Puzzles, Angel Food Cake and Febreze

Do you ever have the strong desire to make angel food cake at really random hours of the night? I just really want to make some right now. I don't even really want to eat it, but making it, sounds like a grand ol' time to me. Huh. Randomness.

The twists and turns in my life will never stop surprising me, even though I know they should. Nothing with the Lord should surprise me. (Nor should I ever feel inadequate by the world's standards because I'm living under the Lord's not the world's.) And yet, both seem to happen, and happen often.

I'm carpooling out to Kirtland Community College twice a week with a dear friend, Naomi Gardner. (Katie Handrich on one of those days as well, but my story today is about Naomi. I'll address KD in a different post.) I know Noami through Camp Barakel; both of our families were on staff. In fact, she's never lived anywhere else than Camp. She's one of the best Christian testimonies I have ever found, and weekly she brings shame to my face and mind. I've gone to public school for 6 years, claimed to be a testimony to the world for that amount of time. This is her first experience in school out of her home. I find myself having to watch how I act when around Naomi and those she has reached her loving arms out to. Each drive home from school consists of much talking from her and much blaming in my head. Hearing her stories, watching her faith, see her action, it brings me to silence in the car. What do I have to show for a day in a public place like school? I go, I work on school, I keep up with friends living different places, going to school all over the country, I avoid talking to people, and inevitably I have some moment of weakness when the worst of my human nature is let loose. And, no joke, someone that Naomi has been reaching out to, sees me do it. It's humiliating, frustrating, maddening, and sickening all at the same time. I fancied myself doing okay, ya know. The Lord couldn't have any complaints about my testimony to the world. I didn't swear out loud for the world to hear, wear super revealing clothing, have a bad attitude towards authority or other people in general, slack when it comes to school. But Naomi is so, different. I'm not sure she could blend in if she wanted to (which she never would want to). I worked hard to learn the skills to blend in, and now I never wanted to stand out again, until I watched Naomi.

Here's the problem, I think more than wanting to be a better light for the Lord, I want to be a better light compared to Naomi, and I'm not blind to the problem. My pride is at stake. So is my Christian appearance (which no matter what I say, IS very important especially to a pastor's daughter). So my struggle I find myself in happens to be, am I feeling the push for a change from the Spirit, or from my pride, or both? And what exactly would that change be. I love change, but I hate having to change.

To those wondering about the Puzzles and Febreze I say this. Puzzles are fun, but the best pictures are always the most poorly made puzzles. Oh the frustration. And, question. When a puppy urinates on your business book, is it enough to febreze those pages, or should I have done something else?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Crawling Up the Walls

The phrase crawling up the walls was once said to me, and I hadn't a clue what it meant. I now do. I NEED out of this library! I'm hoping to get something accomplished, but had to share my frustration!