Blessings on a sunny Sunday

After a gorgeous Saturday, Amie and I decided to walk to church in the morning. I attend Ganson Street Baptist Church about 2 miles away from the school. So I checked the weather and we dressed accordingly to walk the 2 miles in the glorious morning sun. It was so much more amazing to hear the bird, feel the warmth of the sun growing, the cool night air leaving then I could put in words. I'm not a huge nature freak, but there are certain things that I just miss terribly about living at Camp Barakel and seeing, hearing, smelling, and feeling the Lord's creation on a spring or summer morning is one of those things. There is no feeling it compares to.

There was a scrumptious soup lunch after church and I noticed something else the Lord has been doing in my life. Building relationships in our church is something stressed by the school but I always had an issue with lasting conversations that mean something. Small talk and random facts I can initiate well, like in a working together situation. I tend to have an issue with genuinely getting to know someone well in a face-to-face talking once a week at church situation. Through upperclassmen and teachers and other random people, I'm finding it easier to ask relevant questions that really allows me to take a true interest in people. So I spent lunch consciously trying to builder a closer and better relationship with my coworker in Adventure Clubs (children's ministry on Sunday nights). I was surprised at the quality of conversation that I had.

The return walk to the school with Amie provided amazing time for conversation. I'm growing so close to that girl. The depth and understanding of a friendship when we both watch each other grow in the Lord and help each other grow is amazing.

I spent the afternoon doing homework and planning my music to do with the children that night. At Adventure Clubs I got prepared to do the music. One new song (Jesus Loves Me - remixed), Victory Chant (second week doing it), and All In All...trying to use time, calm them down, and also that's just a really great song. I've had issues since taking it over. I don't feel like I was confident and they could tell causing them to react differently to it. Well last night I felt confident and I felt like the kids might have actually enjoyed it. It was such an encouragement.

After finishing my homework for today, Amie and I decided that we wanted to see real stars. I knew I had before driven down in a certain area and found a lake so we went looking for it. When my memory failed me we decided just to keep driving. We took turns deciding which ways she should turn as we were enjoying the still cool evening, great music, and NOT CITY (we even found a dirt road to turn onto). The sun was almost completely gone and we weren't sure exactly where we were but decided to keep driving to find a lake. We ended up in Grass Lake (still not sure where that is, but it's exit 150 on 94) and we found a lake and watched the stars come out.

When we returned to the school my parents were online and I heard the final verdict if I could go to IWU, Schoolcraft and Hudsonville. I am so stoked for spring break, it'll be awesome!! And my dorm was a hub of activity as we were all getting our costumes for today, Redneck day for spirit week.

At the end of the day, God's "Thank you for this day" was no where near satisfactory to express my thanks.

Spring...Once there was a thing called Spring

I'm really excited!!! It's SPRING!!! (well soon to be...)
For some reason spring is getting me really excited, and I'm not sure why. I'm happier, not as tired, have a lot more energy. Not sure that I've ever experienced this much of a spring "high" before, and not sure what to make of it.

But, it's gone far enough that my Amie and I are walking to church tomorrow (granted we have a nice day again). For some reason i can't get this song out of my head just because I've been soaking up as much vitamin D as possible.

---

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine

I got a love and I know that it's all mine, oh, oh oh oh

Do what you want but you're never gonna break me

Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh oh oh



I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine

I got a love and I know that it's all mine, oh, oh oh oh

Wish that you could but you ain't gonna own me

Do anything you want you can't slow me down, oh, oh oh oh



Take me away, a secret place

A sweet escape, take me away

Take me away to better days

Take me away, a hiding place

---

Anyways, just a shout out to spring and how happy it makes me!!

I'm Singing in the Rain

I've been hit.  Time after time this past week I've been thanking God for the AMAZING blessing He has given me with my roommates and dorm parents.  I can't tell you what kind of amazing blessing they have been to me.  After last semester I had determined that I was going to come back for the study of the Word, not for the social aspect of being here.  I came away from the first semester with no really close friends that were going to still be here this next semester.  So I started with the idea of, study all the time, and when you come back in 2 years you can rent an apartment and work all the time.  Oh boy did the Lord ever show me how wrong I could be.

The first bump in the road to that plan was the addition to my dorm.  A charming young lady named Grace Baldwin filled the void spot left by Becca (who graduated) as our RA.  We'd never had an RA in our room, last semester we were connected to the room next to us, sharing their RA.  Confession time, last semester, I had no desire to get to know Graciela at all.  She was this short, adorable gal from sunny CA who could sing amazingly well AND play the guitar.  There were those who last semester decided that they couldn't balance more than one close friendship, and chose her.  I was hurt and decided to take it out by not making the effort to get to know her.  It wasn't until the end of the semester last semester that I swallowed my pride and tried to get to know her at all.  I still held some of that bitterness when we started this semester.  For her to be my RA was almost too much.  This 21 year old was going to be the end of me.  Fortunately, she proved herself to be impossible to ignore.  Too great to overlook.  Very quickly I discovered our uncanny ability to be there for each other when we need it most, and adopted my favorite spot to sit in her room and pour my guts out to her.  We love going to the mall and learned that when we are together all money needs to be left here at the school.  Carrying on one long conversation all week is my favorite.  She rocks my socks!

Grace did more than just open me back up to trying for relationships, but she also opened our whole dorm to becoming a dorm.  I'd never really gotten close to Rachel because she goes home every weekend, but the atmosphere of our dorm room seems to have taken a turn.  We chose to stay in here to hang out and people chose to come in here to hang out.  We started really early on with hanging as a dorm, going to Maggie Moo's on the coldest day of the winter for ice cream.  We then met with our dorm parents and were "officially" adopted.  We go as a dorm to their house all the time, have special days to celebrate our birthdays, and have random sleepovers as a dorm.


Then there is my bum.  Amie Christine Dryer is my next door neighbor, and attached herself to our couch last semester (proclaiming, "we are one" speaking about her and the couch).  I met her in a bored moment during our outing at the beach last semester and she's not been able to get rid of me since.  Amie, Anna Ruiter (my roommate) and I tend to do many things together.  Just the other day we decided to enjoy the weather together and went for a walk with a camera.  But beyond that, I've learned so much more about Amie and from her this semester than I thought I would.  We were doing homework together at Conni's one day and we spent 2 hours just talking about things we are learning in class and how we apply that to our lives.  We are so different and so much alike that we are constantly grating against each other making me think and examine my life and actions.


There are many more in my life, but this is part 1 of this, I have church in the morning that i can't be too tired for.

Spiritual Disciplines Part 4

Friday - I corrected my mistakes this one day, and planned to talk to Rich right after class about a pressing issue with one of my family members. It worked and I felt so good about it. I found that the rest of the day I randomly was talking about all the stuff from class and chapel.

Saturday and Sunday - I didn't plan for the weekend, temporarily forgetting that I don't have class or chapel on Saturday. Today, though, I actually did okay. I did talk briefly with Grace about church and how it was the same sort of stuff that we just went through in class. But I cut that conversation short and felt really bad about it later because I don't know where it would have gone.

I feel pretty much the same as I did with the last post, like I'm a big complete failure. But I guess that's a process in life. I'm willing and ready for the Lord to do a work in my life through this, so I'm going to strive to continue this spiritual discipline challenge indefinitely.

Thank you so much to Rex for making us do this. I was totally psyched about it when I found out what our only assignment would be.

Lord, show me the strength you have already given me to continue this study for you! Give me wisdom to know how to plan for things and fix my mistakes.

Spiritual Disciplines Part 3

Failure...Rex told us to expect it, but I didn't. I've had nothing but disappointment and disgust for myself and my apparent lack of discipline. I knew I was bad, didn't know how many excuses I could find to not do something that I should do.

Tuesday - Cara and I went on our date for coffee. I had been doing homework before we went and made the choice to not go over my notes before we left, assuming I would just remember. Mistake #1 We left and started our regular date conversation. I would record it, but they are held in confidence. As we talked, we jumped into a little bit of what we talked about in some classes or chapels the days before, but nothing was specifically planned. That night when I was lying in bed, I vaguely remembered that I didn't write an entry and I realized what I had done (or rather, hadn't done). I determined that I would just make do with what I had done and admit my failure before I rolled over into a sleep.

Wednesday - As I walked to class with my notebook in hand, I said I HAD to do better that day. I sat down in class and listened for something to catch my attention to write it down. Mistake #2 Very quickly I was doodling and struggling to pay attention. I gave up after the first class and said that I would just do better by looking through my notes again. But I didn't think of a time or a person. Mistake #3 It was a cloudy and rainy day, so I was VERY depressed and used that as an excuse to waste away my afternoon and evening trying to "cheer myself up." By the time I went with Anna over to the Potters I was pretty happy and didn't think about my discipline at all. We returned and I talked to Grace and a friend from back home, and certain parts of those conversations had undertones of class or chapel. Nothing was purposeful though.

Thursday - This morning I remembered everything that I was supposed to have done and didn't. I walked towards my computer to write a blog admitting my failure and pledging to do better today, but I was afraid to face my own failure. I walked out of my room for class this morning and tried not to give it a second (or third or fourth or fifth or...) thought. I was convicted so bad during class that I made last minute plans to do my homework away from the school so I wouldn't have to look at my computer. Amie and I went over to Conni's to do our homework and it got to be too much for me. I almost just spilled my guts about my failure all over Amie, but I wisely waited. Conversation started and it seemed to naturally lean towards classes (the direction of God is amazing!). No, I didn't plan for it, nor did I study for it, but I had a conversation about classes, how God's been working in my life, and teachers with Amie. It must have lasted close to an hour. I can't call this a success though. My goal was to make it a conscious effort. As we were talking I remembered there was something that Sullivan said that I wanted someones opinion on, but I didn't write it down. Mistake #4 I figured I'd just remember.

All in all the last three days have been terrible.
Mistake #1 - Assuming I would remember what I wanted to say about the notes without refreshing my memory.
Mistake #2 - Putting my full attention on looking for something that catches my attention instead of putting my looking towards the simple truths we are learning here.
Mistake #3 - Not planning to do it.
Mistake #4 - Not writing down a spoken word before it runs out of the memory.

Lord, help me as this weekend ensues to have the discipline to complete the task laid before me!

Spiritual Disciplines Part 2

About 2 weeks ago I was talking with Whitney Salisbury about something in class from the day before. I had also talked about that specific subject with a friend from home and I told her how it is so much more concreted in my mind since I've talked about it. I was finding myself applying what I'd learned that one day. We came to the conclusion that we both learn better if we teach it or at least talk to somebody about it. We discussed maybe making a point to talk to each other every day about what we'd learned in class, but between her busy schedule and just a lack of desire to display any discipline in my life we let it drop after that late night talk. It's been on my mind a lot since. I don't retain stuff when I just hear it, write it, or read it. I have to actually talk about it; one of the reasons why Chris Darland's method of verbally reviewing earlier lessons at the beginning of the class does so much for me. I think I've determined that part of my frustration is the planning to meet with the same person at a certain time; it's too scheduled for me. My solution is to plan to talk with someone for at least 15 minutes each day that I've heard or read or learned in my daily devotions, class, chapel or stirring conversation. When I wake up in the morning I'll look at my day and decide who and when, and then during class I will have a focus in my listening. I hope I'll be impacted in such a way this week that I'll find a way to make a permanent part of my spiritual life. I also hope that the Lord will show me clearly what spiritual discipline I should work on next for I hope to duplicate this later with other disciplines. It was a hard choice to just choose one.



It's my first day and I'm about to go through my notes and remember back to what struck me today. Lord, show me, bring to mind, those things you wish to impress on my heart or clarify to my mind. I am going to spend a couple hours with Conni and chose to take this opportunity as someone who has gone through these classes already.


I just jumped back in my room from being at Conni's house. That was such an encouraging conversation, even if I think maybe it was too easy to choose to have this first conversation with Conni. We had been planning this date night since last week, and I knew the type of questions and topics we'd be covering. I figured it would give me an easy first day that would help with me knowing how it is that I want to be thinking during classes tomorrow before my date tomorrow with Cara.

Before I went I walked over I went through my notes trying to remember all the things I thought during classes and throughout the day (note for tomorrow, carry around a notebook). I walked over to her house not sure what to expect. I went upstairs and we sat on the couch and we just started talking. She would ask a question and I'd give a super long answer then we'd make our way back to what we asked in the first place. Finally there was a lull in a REALLY good challenging conversation for me to pull out my notebook. I started by talking to her about feeling like the same things are being hammered over and over in theology and I feel like I get it already. She encouraged me to go talk to Rich Bruce about that tomorrow. Then I got to my exciting fun stuff that I wanted to share. Life of Christ today was amazing. The first hour was about the unpardonable sin, which has haunted my Bible studies since I first read that passage. Mike Sullivan explained it in a way that made so much sense. Then he brought up two sides to certain parts of it that are great food for thought. In the second hour of class he touched on the Parable of the Sower and the Soils and brought up a controversy that I didn't know even existed. Conni and I discussed that and where we stood on it. All of the class stuff has been twirling in my brain since I verbalized it with Conni, and she got me to think deeper into a verse on my homework that I've been having a problem with. All in all I feel like I set this day up so well that it couldn't help but be amazing. I'm scared that tomorrow might fade in expectation and by the end of the week I'll be talking just to talk. Lord, bring this conversation to mind as I go throughout my days!

Spiritual Disciplines Part 1

Starting tomorrow I will have 7 days of entries about my assignment for Spiritual Disciplines. I really don't have any clue what the Lord will be revealing to me, but I'm totally psyched! Pray as I embark on a 7-day journal that I'm sure will show my terrible need for our Lord!